A Tangled Proposal
by Semblance of Sanity
Summary: Fred is a proposal genius. Or the one with the Valentine's gone horribly wrong.


"Five broken bones, Ollie! Five bloody bones! What the _hell _were you thinking?"

Oliver winced as Katie's shrill voice worsened his headache. "Come on, Kates, stop yelling," he pleaded, smiling politely at the nurse hovering over Katie's shoulder with a potion meant for him.

"I'll yell if I want to!" Katie yelled, and Oliver sighed.

"All right, then. Go ahead. Yell at me." He took a deep breath and leaned back against the pillows as he waited for the assault, but it never came. Her face broke and she started sobbing. He reached out a hand and she fell into him, crying on his chest and clutching at his shirt.

"I w-was so s-scared," she told him, and he brushed her hair guiltily.

"Shh, Kates...I know, I'm so sorry, I'll never do it 'gain, shhh, please stop crying, shh. It's all right now, I'm all right. I'll never do it 'gain, I promise. Stop crying, love."

The nurse rolled her eyes and put his potion on the bedside table, motioning for him to drink it. He mouthed 'thank you,' but she was hurrying away.

Katie's sobbed soon faded into sniffles. She wiped her nose on his shirt and looked up at him. "I'm still angry."

"Ready to yell?"

"Can I just talk sternly?"

Oliver sighed dramatically. "Disappointing, but I guess I can settle for that."

Katie laughed and sat up, glancing wearily at his levitated leg near her head.

"Five broken bones, a gigantic _hole_ in your side, a broken wand, and a _hangover_! Oliver Wood, I am so disappointed!"

"Merlin, you sound like my mother," he grumbled and swallowed the potion, waiting for his headache to disappear.

"I _should_ call your mother!" Katie agreed.

"That is _not_ what I meant -"

"What were you thinking, Oliver? Seriously: make me understand. And - and how did you end up getting _mauled_ by a komodo dragon?"

_5.0 Hours Earlier_

"Oliver!" Fred Weasley met Oliver at the door of the pub and wrapped an arm around Oliver's shoulders, pulling him further into the smoke and laughing bodies.

"Alright?" Oliver greeted, and Fred's head bobbed. He shoved Oliver into a booth, where he was loudly greeted by Lee Jordan and George Weasley.

George shoved a frothy beverage in Oliver's direction, and he grinned.

"Bottoms up!"

_4.75 Hours Earlier_

"Be still my heart!" Lee crawled over George in his haste to jump out of the booth. "Body shots!"

"You wanna have a go, Georgie?" Oliver teased.

"I am a happily married man, thank you very much!" George protested. He peered around the booth. "Won't say no to the ordinary kind of shots, though."

"It would be my honor, O Married Man," Fred declared, bowing at the waist.

_4.50 Hours Earlier_

"It's Valentine's Day tomorrow," George said, tossing back a shot. "I can't get too pissed."

"Got something special planned?" Oliver asked.

"Oh yeah. We're Apparating to the Brooklyn Bridge - gonna watch the sunset and do romantic things." George waggled his eyebrows in his brother's direction. Fred rolled his eyes.

"How 'bout you, Ollie? Anything special? A riiiiiing, maybe?"

Oliver grinned. "Actually, yes."

Lee Jordan spit his drink on Fred's shirt. "For real? What are you going to do? What are you going to say?"

Oliver blushed and stared at the drink in his hand. "Well, I was thinking flowers, candles, and something romantic..."

The three men stared at Oliver. "You," Lee spoke up. "You don't have anything planned?!"

Oliver took a shot defensively. "I do: I just told you!"

"That ain't a plan, mate," George laughed.

Fred jumped up. "Don't worry, Ollie! I am a proposal genius."

George laughed. "You've never proposed to anyone in your life."

"Ah, but I have all the knowledge from the mistakes of my woefully tied-down friends."

"Don't worry about it, guys," Oliver laughed. "I'll figure it out."

"You will do no such thing!" Lee shouted, jumping up. "This is the critical turning point of a man's life! He needs to seek the wise council of his community!"

Fred laughed. "What, is he supposed to ask the pub?"

"I don't see why not!"

_3.0 Hours Earlier_

"I need a chamono!" Oliver announced upon entering the reptile house.

"I - I'm sorry?" the janitor asked.

"A chamono!" Lee repeated.

"Um, like the Japanese dress?"

The boys frowned, turning to each other and whispering. The janitor blinked. The boys turned back to the janitor. "No. We do not mean a dress. A chamono. The little green tongue thing from the favorite movie of Oliver's lady-love!" Fred clarified.

The janitor blinked again. "Erm, could you possibly mean a komodo dragon? We've one of them."

"Yes!" Lee exclaimed. "That's it! Take us the majestic beast!"

The janitor timidly pointed to the sign George was leaning on. George jumped up. "I've found it!"

The janitor rolled his eyes and walked away quietly.

The boys crowded around the enclosure and pressed their faces against the glass. "Ah! Look!"

Oliver frowned at the large lizard. "I'm not sure that's it..."

"Of course it is!" George insisted. "Now we need to get it!"

"But -"

"Oliver!" Lee grabbed Oliver's shoulders and shook him. "This is how you prove your love! You know what she likes! We've already got chocolate -" he gestured his Snicker's wrapper in emphasis. "- and now you are showing that you know what movie she likes by getting her this thing! It's perfect, mate!"

_2.5 Hours Earlier_

"Anyone got little bits of thought?" Fred asked from the floor of the reptile house, shoving another Snicker into his mouth. He threw one at Lee, who's head jerked up quickly.

"'Mmm awake!" He promised. "Alright Ollie, here's what you gotta do - Hey, where's Ollie?"

"Ollie, Ollie, Red Rover come over!" George started shouting.

"Hey, guys!" Oliver hollered, and the boys turned to find him hanging from a ceiling beam in the komodo dragon's enclosure. "I'm trying to find Pascal! You see him?"

The boys rushed over to press their faces on the glass. "Nah - think he's sleeping!"

"PASCALPASCALPASCAL!" Lee shouted, banging on the glass.

The komodo dragon hissed and slithered out of the bushes. It jumped at the glass that near Lee, and all the boys screamed and jumped back. Oliver screamed and fell into a bush. The lizard turned and slithered in his direction.

"Ow, guys, can you get me out of her - AHH! GET ME OUT GET ME OUT! AHH!"

_Present_

"You were going to propose?!" Katie shrieked.

"Well - yeah. Sorta messed it up though." Oliver scratched his neck. "But I love you, Katie."

Katie beamed. "Well, go on then."

"What, right now? Here?" Katie nodded, and Oliver flushed. "It was supposed to be romantic and amazing, and this place is just - well."

"It's awful," Katie laughed. "I love you. Happy Valentine's."

"Happy Valentine's, love." As Katie bent down to kiss him, the door opened.

"Ahem. Erm, hey, Oliver, Katie." A very timid pair of twins stood at the door.

"Can we come in -"

"YOU TWO. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TRYING TO GET OLIVER KILLED WHEN HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE PROPOSING TO ME?"

The twins winced. "Yeah, we're sorry about that, mate."

"Don't really know what we were thinking."

"Glad you're alright though."

"Hope Katie don't kill you."

"We wanted to make it right-"

"- So we brought you this."

Fred reached behind his back, but Lee burst through. "You promised to wait for me! I get to give it!" He hollered. Fred sighed, but handed him a small green object.

"Anyway, we figured it out. And we wanted to apologize to Katie, too. So here, love. Sorry we broke your man," Lee apologized, and handed Katie a small green chameleon toy. She grinned.

"Come 'ere, then," she demanded, holding out her arms, and the three boys surrounded her in a hug.

* * *

Later that morning, Katie crawled in bed with Oliver and they slept. When she woke, he was holding a chameleon, a chocolate bar, a rose, and a ring. "Hey, Kates. I love you. Marry me? I promise to stop doing stupid things to impress you."

She grinned. "No you won't, but I'll marry you anyway."

Oliver smiled and leaned in to kiss her.

_"And at last I see the light!" _Pascal sang.

"FRED! GEORGE!"

* * *

_Some Valentine's KBOW for the Pirate Ship Battles! WC: 1,421. Prompts: Katie/Oliver, nurse, toy, bush, chameleon, leg._


End file.
